Congrats to Delta Company, 2-58, Infantry!!! Today as I watched my youngest son graduate and complete his Basic Training at Fort Benning, Georgia I was overwhelmed with emotion. Not only is my husband currently deployed, but now my son has joined the Army and is now an Infantryman. I am so proud of both of my Soldiers and the careers they have chosen. I am also very proud of my son Chazman who is in Culinary Arts, and will move on next to Pharmacy Tech training. He is so darn smart, and I know that with both certifications it will help him move forward with his social skills issues, and help build his self estyeem. Having a child/young adult with Autism is very challenging. He strives so hard to not be "Autistic" and I know it must be emotionally hard. I do not want him to go through life continually being labled. It's not fair. I love having my son with me. I miss them being within the same household, but I know that my boys are now young men/adults. I don't know how my parents did it. No matter what, I know Chaz will always improve every day and always works hard to not be "different". Colton will now be embarking on his career, away from home, and me, his mom. It's so hard to see your child start their life as an adult without you holding their hand any longer. I am so happy that Colton is sharing not only his graduation day with us, but also Thanksgiving, and hopefully many more holidays in the future if his job allows.
Happy Thanksgiving!!! I have decided this year NOT to premake everything as I would normally do, not because I am lazy, BUT because I am spending this time with my two boys together as a family. It's very hard being away from my husband during the holidays, BUT I know this is how it works when you are married to a Soldier. I respect him and his job so very much. I think with every day and every year, I grow to respect him and his career more and more. I know a lot of spouses that resent the separations but it has made me appreciate my time with my husband more and more, day by day. In this past year we have had many downs over ups, but I am taking strides to improve myself to be the better wife at all costs. While he is away, I want him to see and know that I am fully well, and capable of "slaying every dragon which comes my way". I am that woman, and I am the woman he fell in love with so many years ago. I intend to remain that person, and grow old with him until we get old, rickety, and blind.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!!!!! I hope everyone has a blessed day with family and friends!!! My prayers go out to all who cannot be with their families for this holiday.
So PROUD of our sons
I cannot believe it's been over a year since I last blogged. So much has happened in the last year! My amazing SSG returned from the two year PCS in ching chong land, then after being home 7 months, it's DEPLOYMENT. Yes it totally sucks, BUT he's getting it out of the way so that it's done and it won't be a surprise. My youngest is also now in the Army, and he chose Infantry...mom is not thrilled, BUT Colt seems to love it, and that's all that matters to me. I cannot believe he just graduated high school in May and here he's graduating from Basic Training & AIT very soon. Chaz is still in school for the Culinary Arts program, and will start the Pharmacy Tech program next fall. I am finishing my college classes online for now, and also working part time. My SSG is VERY supportive of me finishing my schooling, and I am so very blessed for that. I love my life as an Army Wife and Mom. No one said it would be easy, and it hasn't but I am handling things much better than I ever have...thank goodness for therapists and good friends!!!!!! I only wish my ex-husband, the boy's father, would quit being such a denial downer. Seriously, YOU think our 20 year old son is a 20 year old MAN??!!! Well Kiss My Grits! He may be in the body of a 20 year old man, BUT considering I have been the one raising him for over 18 years, I PROMISE you that his Psychiatrist is CORRECT....he is NOT mentally nor emotionally 20 years old. Try 12-13...HE IS AUTISTIC! YES, highly FUNCTIONAL, BUT NO he CANNOT drive, he CANNOT keep a job because of MELT DOWNS, he CANNOT live ALONE. MAYBE one day it may happen, BUT until then...per his doctors which you think I paid off, I am to be named his GUARDIAN, as will his brother, should ANYTHING happen to me or my husband. My husband has been a Dad to our sons, not the actual biological father. I get so upset and wound up over the FALSE accusations, disbelief, and complete ignorance of people that have NO CLUE because they have not been in the picture, BY THEIR CHOICE, and THINK they know these young men...OH and stalking your son's Facebook page to make contact with his no longer girl friend, TOTALLY WRONG!!! Your son doesn't want to talk to you, and he is even more upset that his page was stalked, and his then girlfriend messaged/spoke with you. TOTAL BETRAYAL in his eyes. My sons and I are VERY close. I grew up raising them, and I know I made some mistakes, BUT no matter what, I am their mom, and they love and respect me as I do them. Colt was on his 48 hour pass, sadly Chaz could not be with us because of prior commitments with school....Colt has grown so much! He paid for groceries, dinner, and took us to a hockey game!!!! It was soooooo much fun, and so amazing to see that my baby boy is maturing and becoming a man! I was so happy that my husband was able to see him as well before he deployed. I love my boys and my husband so much. I cannot say it enough of how blessed I am.Next...going to court against the ex, as I said AGAIN! You know you signed that divorce decree that stated you would provide support for your Autistic son that you are now trying to get of...CONTEMPT of COURT...oh and not paying your half of the braces...YES you got letters and amounts sent to you not only by the ORTHODONTIST THAT YOU CALLED STATING YOU WOULD MAKE PAYMENTS TOO, BUT I SENT you the documents as well then you try to say you never knew, never received documents, LIAR-LIAR! I also mailed you everything per the request of DHR who was having you charged with CONTEMPT of court!!!!!
OKAY, I am done venting over this mute point because he will always believe he is innocent and did nothing wrong and never does anything wrong....
I AM READY for this DEPLOYMENT to be OVER!!!!!!! Counting it down!!!
To think that this time a year ago my husband was home for his first R&R absolutely blows my mind. We have virtually survived what most would call pure "hell". Has it been easy? Well, in the kindest words with an answer, let me say...HELL NO. I am human, I cry just as much if not more than most spouses whose husband's are gone or deployed. I am FAITHFUL to my husband and to our vows we took on December 20, 2010, and I have no regrets, and I am thankful that he is as faithful and strong as I am. But do not get me wrong, we both have our days of depression, who wouldn't? Here I am trying to be the wife, the mom, the best friend, the rock, and the Realtor...you think it's easy??? REALLY??!!! I was living off a dual income which allowed a little bit of allowances, now I am back to one job, and full time school for the next year. I have had to completely re-budget my entire life, and it came at a really crapped up time within a week after I returned to work, post surgery. Yes, I am not happy about it. I had two jobs not only to be able to give all of us nice things, but to keep me from missing my husband. School helps, but it doesn't help pay for things, at least not at this moment. WE have weathered the crazy exes, who only the Lord knows why they enjoy badgering us, thank goodness for the ugly memories at times to keep us focused and remember WHY it never worked out, and how THANKFUL we are to have found each other.
Today, well this week has been one of those weeks where all I can do is get up, go to school, eat, go to work, come home, and try not to be depressed. I am not one to be depressed, so for this to be happening is really bothering me. I can only pray that this will stop, that I can lock us into our second home for our next adventure, and make everyone happy, to include myself....wish me luck, because I truly need it...
I was chatting with a friend of mine today within our Spouses group and realized I have NOT been on my blog in FOREVER!!! It's like ERMAHGERD!!! My stalkers have NOT been updated on EVERYTHING!! I am soooo sorry...Hahahaha...NOT really. I started this blog to let people into my life as we were making our journey to spouse-ville, family, etc...Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think people would stalk me or try to start crapola with me because I am a HAPPY WIFE with an AMAZING HUSBAND. Just because he wasn't amazing to you doesn't mean he's not to me...sounds like a little jealousy because you weren't the woman for him and he found something MUCH BETTER. OH and you ARE TIRED of hearing HOW MUCH I LOVE MY HUSBAND???!!! Then GET A CLUE, it DIDN'T WORK because YOU WEREN'T ALL THAT! My first marriage was NOT ALL BAD, we just were going in different directions with our lives. I loved being a wife and a mom, NOT everyone is made to be a parent, but it's okay. I have my boys, and I also am blessed with two labor free boys. Would I love more? YES, but it's not in the cards for us, we have BIGGER ADVENTURES ahead and I cannot wait!! I get "yanked" on about my age, or shall I say our age difference, you know what??? It doesn't BOTHER US, so WHY does it bother YOU???!!!
It has cracked me up over the past what...3-4 years now??!!! I mean seriously...am I venting right now?? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM. I go to school, I work part time, at two jobs, help take care of my exceptionally high functional Autistic son, who is going to school with me...so COOL, run our home, help pay the bills, trying to get my youngest through his Senior year, and then he wants to GO ARMY...and I still have a list of more things to do that is a mile long...COUNTING DOWN TIL WE PCS and get OUT of here!!!! Can't wait until our next adventure!!!
Our R&R was absolutely amazing...St.Augustine was absolutely beautiful, and I don't think I have ever had such a wonderful time ever. It was indescribable and words cannot express what I felt then and feel now. I am so lucky, and blessed. As usual I hated when the time came for him to leave, but seeing him off this time made things a little easier. It's NOT always easy cheesy as people think it is. Military Spouses are alone a lot of the time, we need our friends, we are very protective, and we do not take threats, nor stalkers kindly. We try to live as DRAMA FREE as possible. ALL we want is to be able to be together, be happy, and be left alone, why is that so hard for people to understand? Seriously?? Don't attack me verbally and think for one minute I am going to sit back and take it. Do not attack my children verbally and think I will sit back and take it either. I am tired of it, I am tired of bullies, whiners, and schmucks...so please stop, I would greatly appreciate it.
I am happy, I love my husband, and he loves me, and we are ready for our next adventure!!!
About TWO weeks ago, I made a much needed step forward within my life and my son's lives. I am sorry that it took as long as it did, but I am glad that I finally made it, and I pray that the step I took stays in good graces and does not blow up in our faces. So, you are reading and asking, "what in the heck has Carie done???" I called the boy's dad, you know, my exhubs....and YES, I am serious. It's been 8 years, actually 8 years too long. Don't get me wrong, My husband is an amazing man, and dad, even to our two sons that are not even biologically his. He is amazing. BUT, they still need a relationship with their father. I am not asking for miracles, but I am asking that a bridge be mended. It is going to take some time, baby steps, a lot of ups and downs, but hey, if I can handle the job of army wife, autism advocate, an friend to all, then I can surely handle, bridge mending.
With love, prayers, family, friends, and a lot of tears...the bridge must mend and be strong.
My Life as an Army Wife & Mom
