Welcome to my little blog where I take the time to rant and rave about my life as a once divorced mom of two great boys once in Lower Alabama, and now, wherever the Army takes us....my life as a "recruited" Military(ARMY) Wife who absolutely adores and is 100% committed and supportive of her Soldier who I frequently refer to as SSG....enjoy :)
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Needing prayers....
Made it through my first 8 weeks with B's....I have to thank my husband, Alex Rocky Wilemon for his encouragement, and support. He made me believe in myself and helped me get enrolled at AMU to begin the journey to gain my AS. I cannot thank him enough. He has done more for me than most have or ever would. I haven't been the best wife in the past 2 years, and I cannot make up for it. I am doing everything imaginable to be a better person than who I have been in those times. Gaining my education is just the start, I have so much more to do and prove. I may never be able to redeem myself, but I am doing all I can to be a better person and wife than I was. I love him with all my heart and soul, and if I were to ever lose him, I would lose a huge part of myself. It's truly not something I like to think about.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Prayers please...
I have been blessed with an amazing Father-In-Law and Mother-In-Law. Right now my mother in law is not doing well at all. This is very painful for my husband because he cannot be with her at this time. I am praying he is able to get home to see her before she passes. She is such a strong woman in the 5 five years that I have been blessed to meet, know, and love. Every time I have gone to visit her, I have always shown her a picture of Rocky and talked to her about him the majority of the time. I have watched her eyes light up, kick, and make sweet sounds of recognition of her baby boy. Just because she may not have a voice does not mean that she does not know who her son is. She knows him and she loves him. Her disease is so unknown, that for the past five years that I have known her, I have done everything and read everything I could to learn more and to understand. I pray everyday that she is not in pain, how do you know if she is in pain when she does not have a voice? It makes me sad, I cry, and after finding out the condition she was in today while I was at work, I had to excuse myself to go and take a moment to stop crying and stay strong. My husband needs me, he needs my strength. I don't like to see him hurting and all I can do is be here for him in this time of need.
IF you are a follower and reading my blog, I pray that you will keep my husband, and his mother in your prayers. I pray that if this truly is her time, that it be painless and swift. I wish we could hear her voice just once before she passes, but in the past five years, I never heard a distinct word, but I have enjoyed her babbling. I miss hearing that now. Please pray and I thank you now for your prayers.
Carie Wilemon
Wife to SSG Alex Rocky Wilemon Sr
IF you are a follower and reading my blog, I pray that you will keep my husband, and his mother in your prayers. I pray that if this truly is her time, that it be painless and swift. I wish we could hear her voice just once before she passes, but in the past five years, I never heard a distinct word, but I have enjoyed her babbling. I miss hearing that now. Please pray and I thank you now for your prayers.
Carie Wilemon
Wife to SSG Alex Rocky Wilemon Sr
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
CONGRATS & HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Congrats to Delta Company, 2-58, Infantry!!! Today as I watched my youngest son graduate and complete his Basic Training at Fort Benning, Georgia I was overwhelmed with emotion. Not only is my husband currently deployed, but now my son has joined the Army and is now an Infantryman. I am so proud of both of my Soldiers and the careers they have chosen. I am also very proud of my son Chazman who is in Culinary Arts, and will move on next to Pharmacy Tech training. He is so darn smart, and I know that with both certifications it will help him move forward with his social skills issues, and help build his self estyeem. Having a child/young adult with Autism is very challenging. He strives so hard to not be "Autistic" and I know it must be emotionally hard. I do not want him to go through life continually being labled. It's not fair. I love having my son with me. I miss them being within the same household, but I know that my boys are now young men/adults. I don't know how my parents did it. No matter what, I know Chaz will always improve every day and always works hard to not be "different". Colton will now be embarking on his career, away from home, and me, his mom. It's so hard to see your child start their life as an adult without you holding their hand any longer. I am so happy that Colton is sharing not only his graduation day with us, but also Thanksgiving, and hopefully many more holidays in the future if his job allows.
Happy Thanksgiving!!! I have decided this year NOT to premake everything as I would normally do, not because I am lazy, BUT because I am spending this time with my two boys together as a family. It's very hard being away from my husband during the holidays, BUT I know this is how it works when you are married to a Soldier. I respect him and his job so very much. I think with every day and every year, I grow to respect him and his career more and more. I know a lot of spouses that resent the separations but it has made me appreciate my time with my husband more and more, day by day. In this past year we have had many downs over ups, but I am taking strides to improve myself to be the better wife at all costs. While he is away, I want him to see and know that I am fully well, and capable of "slaying every dragon which comes my way". I am that woman, and I am the woman he fell in love with so many years ago. I intend to remain that person, and grow old with him until we get old, rickety, and blind.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!!!!! I hope everyone has a blessed day with family and friends!!! My prayers go out to all who cannot be with their families for this holiday.
Happy Thanksgiving!!! I have decided this year NOT to premake everything as I would normally do, not because I am lazy, BUT because I am spending this time with my two boys together as a family. It's very hard being away from my husband during the holidays, BUT I know this is how it works when you are married to a Soldier. I respect him and his job so very much. I think with every day and every year, I grow to respect him and his career more and more. I know a lot of spouses that resent the separations but it has made me appreciate my time with my husband more and more, day by day. In this past year we have had many downs over ups, but I am taking strides to improve myself to be the better wife at all costs. While he is away, I want him to see and know that I am fully well, and capable of "slaying every dragon which comes my way". I am that woman, and I am the woman he fell in love with so many years ago. I intend to remain that person, and grow old with him until we get old, rickety, and blind.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE!!!!! I hope everyone has a blessed day with family and friends!!! My prayers go out to all who cannot be with their families for this holiday.
So PROUD of our sons
Thursday, October 31, 2013
HOLY COW!
I cannot believe it's been over a year since I last blogged. So much has happened in the last year! My amazing SSG returned from the two year PCS in ching chong land, then after being home 7 months, it's DEPLOYMENT. Yes it totally sucks, BUT he's getting it out of the way so that it's done and it won't be a surprise. My youngest is also now in the Army, and he chose Infantry...mom is not thrilled, BUT Colt seems to love it, and that's all that matters to me. I cannot believe he just graduated high school in May and here he's graduating from Basic Training & AIT very soon. Chaz is still in school for the Culinary Arts program, and will start the Pharmacy Tech program next fall. I am finishing my college classes online for now, and also working part time. My SSG is VERY supportive of me finishing my schooling, and I am so very blessed for that. I love my life as an Army Wife and Mom. No one said it would be easy, and it hasn't but I am handling things much better than I ever have...thank goodness for therapists and good friends!!!!!! I only wish my ex-husband, the boy's father, would quit being such a denial downer. Seriously, YOU think our 20 year old son is a 20 year old MAN??!!! Well Kiss My Grits! He may be in the body of a 20 year old man, BUT considering I have been the one raising him for over 18 years, I PROMISE you that his Psychiatrist is CORRECT....he is NOT mentally nor emotionally 20 years old. Try 12-13...HE IS AUTISTIC! YES, highly FUNCTIONAL, BUT NO he CANNOT drive, he CANNOT keep a job because of MELT DOWNS, he CANNOT live ALONE. MAYBE one day it may happen, BUT until then...per his doctors which you think I paid off, I am to be named his GUARDIAN, as will his brother, should ANYTHING happen to me or my husband. My husband has been a Dad to our sons, not the actual biological father. I get so upset and wound up over the FALSE accusations, disbelief, and complete ignorance of people that have NO CLUE because they have not been in the picture, BY THEIR CHOICE, and THINK they know these young men...OH and stalking your son's Facebook page to make contact with his no longer girl friend, TOTALLY WRONG!!! Your son doesn't want to talk to you, and he is even more upset that his page was stalked, and his then girlfriend messaged/spoke with you. TOTAL BETRAYAL in his eyes. My sons and I are VERY close. I grew up raising them, and I know I made some mistakes, BUT no matter what, I am their mom, and they love and respect me as I do them. Colt was on his 48 hour pass, sadly Chaz could not be with us because of prior commitments with school....Colt has grown so much! He paid for groceries, dinner, and took us to a hockey game!!!! It was soooooo much fun, and so amazing to see that my baby boy is maturing and becoming a man! I was so happy that my husband was able to see him as well before he deployed. I love my boys and my husband so much. I cannot say it enough of how blessed I am.Next...going to court against the ex, as I said AGAIN! You know you signed that divorce decree that stated you would provide support for your Autistic son that you are now trying to get of...CONTEMPT of COURT...oh and not paying your half of the braces...YES you got letters and amounts sent to you not only by the ORTHODONTIST THAT YOU CALLED STATING YOU WOULD MAKE PAYMENTS TOO, BUT I SENT you the documents as well then you try to say you never knew, never received documents, LIAR-LIAR! I also mailed you everything per the request of DHR who was having you charged with CONTEMPT of court!!!!!
OKAY, I am done venting over this mute point because he will always believe he is innocent and did nothing wrong and never does anything wrong....
I AM READY for this DEPLOYMENT to be OVER!!!!!!! Counting it down!!!
OKAY, I am done venting over this mute point because he will always believe he is innocent and did nothing wrong and never does anything wrong....
I AM READY for this DEPLOYMENT to be OVER!!!!!!! Counting it down!!!
Saturday, September 1, 2012
To think....
To think that this time a year ago my husband was home for his first R&R absolutely blows my mind. We have virtually survived what most would call pure "hell". Has it been easy? Well, in the kindest words with an answer, let me say...HELL NO. I am human, I cry just as much if not more than most spouses whose husband's are gone or deployed. I am FAITHFUL to my husband and to our vows we took on December 20, 2010, and I have no regrets, and I am thankful that he is as faithful and strong as I am. But do not get me wrong, we both have our days of depression, who wouldn't? Here I am trying to be the wife, the mom, the best friend, the rock, and the Realtor...you think it's easy??? REALLY??!!! I was living off a dual income which allowed a little bit of allowances, now I am back to one job, and full time school for the next year. I have had to completely re-budget my entire life, and it came at a really crapped up time within a week after I returned to work, post surgery. Yes, I am not happy about it. I had two jobs not only to be able to give all of us nice things, but to keep me from missing my husband. School helps, but it doesn't help pay for things, at least not at this moment. WE have weathered the crazy exes, who only the Lord knows why they enjoy badgering us, thank goodness for the ugly memories at times to keep us focused and remember WHY it never worked out, and how THANKFUL we are to have found each other.
Today, well this week has been one of those weeks where all I can do is get up, go to school, eat, go to work, come home, and try not to be depressed. I am not one to be depressed, so for this to be happening is really bothering me. I can only pray that this will stop, that I can lock us into our second home for our next adventure, and make everyone happy, to include myself....wish me luck, because I truly need it...
Today, well this week has been one of those weeks where all I can do is get up, go to school, eat, go to work, come home, and try not to be depressed. I am not one to be depressed, so for this to be happening is really bothering me. I can only pray that this will stop, that I can lock us into our second home for our next adventure, and make everyone happy, to include myself....wish me luck, because I truly need it...
Sunday, August 12, 2012
It's Been a Long Time....
I was chatting with a friend of mine today within our Spouses group and realized I have NOT been on my blog in FOREVER!!! It's like ERMAHGERD!!! My stalkers have NOT been updated on EVERYTHING!! I am soooo sorry...Hahahaha...NOT really. I started this blog to let people into my life as we were making our journey to spouse-ville, family, etc...Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think people would stalk me or try to start crapola with me because I am a HAPPY WIFE with an AMAZING HUSBAND. Just because he wasn't amazing to you doesn't mean he's not to me...sounds like a little jealousy because you weren't the woman for him and he found something MUCH BETTER. OH and you ARE TIRED of hearing HOW MUCH I LOVE MY HUSBAND???!!! Then GET A CLUE, it DIDN'T WORK because YOU WEREN'T ALL THAT! My first marriage was NOT ALL BAD, we just were going in different directions with our lives. I loved being a wife and a mom, NOT everyone is made to be a parent, but it's okay. I have my boys, and I also am blessed with two labor free boys. Would I love more? YES, but it's not in the cards for us, we have BIGGER ADVENTURES ahead and I cannot wait!! I get "yanked" on about my age, or shall I say our age difference, you know what??? It doesn't BOTHER US, so WHY does it bother YOU???!!!
It has cracked me up over the past what...3-4 years now??!!! I mean seriously...am I venting right now?? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM. I go to school, I work part time, at two jobs, help take care of my exceptionally high functional Autistic son, who is going to school with me...so COOL, run our home, help pay the bills, trying to get my youngest through his Senior year, and then he wants to GO ARMY...and I still have a list of more things to do that is a mile long...COUNTING DOWN TIL WE PCS and get OUT of here!!!! Can't wait until our next adventure!!!
Our R&R was absolutely amazing...St.Augustine was absolutely beautiful, and I don't think I have ever had such a wonderful time ever. It was indescribable and words cannot express what I felt then and feel now. I am so lucky, and blessed. As usual I hated when the time came for him to leave, but seeing him off this time made things a little easier. It's NOT always easy cheesy as people think it is. Military Spouses are alone a lot of the time, we need our friends, we are very protective, and we do not take threats, nor stalkers kindly. We try to live as DRAMA FREE as possible. ALL we want is to be able to be together, be happy, and be left alone, why is that so hard for people to understand? Seriously?? Don't attack me verbally and think for one minute I am going to sit back and take it. Do not attack my children verbally and think I will sit back and take it either. I am tired of it, I am tired of bullies, whiners, and schmucks...so please stop, I would greatly appreciate it.
I am happy, I love my husband, and he loves me, and we are ready for our next adventure!!!
It has cracked me up over the past what...3-4 years now??!!! I mean seriously...am I venting right now?? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM. I go to school, I work part time, at two jobs, help take care of my exceptionally high functional Autistic son, who is going to school with me...so COOL, run our home, help pay the bills, trying to get my youngest through his Senior year, and then he wants to GO ARMY...and I still have a list of more things to do that is a mile long...COUNTING DOWN TIL WE PCS and get OUT of here!!!! Can't wait until our next adventure!!!
Our R&R was absolutely amazing...St.Augustine was absolutely beautiful, and I don't think I have ever had such a wonderful time ever. It was indescribable and words cannot express what I felt then and feel now. I am so lucky, and blessed. As usual I hated when the time came for him to leave, but seeing him off this time made things a little easier. It's NOT always easy cheesy as people think it is. Military Spouses are alone a lot of the time, we need our friends, we are very protective, and we do not take threats, nor stalkers kindly. We try to live as DRAMA FREE as possible. ALL we want is to be able to be together, be happy, and be left alone, why is that so hard for people to understand? Seriously?? Don't attack me verbally and think for one minute I am going to sit back and take it. Do not attack my children verbally and think I will sit back and take it either. I am tired of it, I am tired of bullies, whiners, and schmucks...so please stop, I would greatly appreciate it.
I am happy, I love my husband, and he loves me, and we are ready for our next adventure!!!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Weekend Adventure...
About TWO weeks ago, I made a much needed step forward within my life and my son's lives. I am sorry that it took as long as it did, but I am glad that I finally made it, and I pray that the step I took stays in good graces and does not blow up in our faces. So, you are reading and asking, "what in the heck has Carie done???" I called the boy's dad, you know, my exhubs....and YES, I am serious. It's been 8 years, actually 8 years too long. Don't get me wrong, My husband is an amazing man, and dad, even to our two sons that are not even biologically his. He is amazing. BUT, they still need a relationship with their father. I am not asking for miracles, but I am asking that a bridge be mended. It is going to take some time, baby steps, a lot of ups and downs, but hey, if I can handle the job of army wife, autism advocate, an friend to all, then I can surely handle, bridge mending.
With love, prayers, family, friends, and a lot of tears...the bridge must mend and be strong.
My Life as an Army Wife & Mom
With love, prayers, family, friends, and a lot of tears...the bridge must mend and be strong.
My Life as an Army Wife & Mom
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY!!!
♥ 3 years ago, a man text his way into my life & I ran from him, the night I gave in, and finally met up with him, changed my life forever. That man was Alex Rocky Wilemon! 2 years later, one day shy of the first day we met, he asked me to marry him. Thank u so much for the best 3 years of my life, & Happy First Anniversary, today, December 20 !!! I ♥ U !!! ♥
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Ask Me Why I am a Military Spouse...
♥ Military relationships and marriages are the product of many tears born both in happiness and despair, nights alone wondering where he is, if he's safe. It's looking at pictures, knowing that's the only way I can see his face, calling my voicemail to hear his voice, and not washing his clothes until they've lost his scent. But it's all worth it in the end, because I know I have one of the purest loves in the world because my husband, Alex Rocky Wilemon, truly knows the meaning of Honor, Courage, and Commitment, not only to th U.S. Army, but to me, and our children. That truly makes everything worthwhile ♥
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Happy Veteran's Day !!!!
♥ HAPPY VETERANS DAY & THANK YOU TO EVERYONE for your support and love for my husband, our soldiers, our families, and friends. ♥
Being a wife, your support and kind words mean more than you know. When we do not have our families near, we may remain at home to raise our children, and to keep the household going whether we "feel" like it or not. We have good days and we have bad days. When they ...are bad, they can be really bad, BUT no one understands what we feel, or how much we hurt, because more than likely they are NOT a military spouse.
Being a wife, your support and kind words mean more than you know. When we do not have our families near, we may remain at home to raise our children, and to keep the household going whether we "feel" like it or not. We have good days and we have bad days. When they ...are bad, they can be really bad, BUT no one understands what we feel, or how much we hurt, because more than likely they are NOT a military spouse.
They tell us we are STUPID for wanting this life. They do NOT understand the love and strength we have for our husbands, they are our life and support team, just as WE ARE THEIRS. They do not understand WHY they miss birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries.
They do NOT understand that they CANNOT put in a two weeks notice OR JUST QUIT, NOR DO THEY WANT TO, because they are proud, and WE are proud. OUR lives here and there, are not easy, BUT for those of us who are "chosen" as spouses; we remain strong, and stand by our soldiers through thick and thin, WE CHERISH the times they are home, and WE LOVE and APPRECIATE the small things in life together that others, turn their noses up towards or do not think are important....
" I would rather have FIVE MINUTES of happiness, than a lifetime of misery and regret"...
♥ THANK YOU for YOUR SUPPORT ♥
" I would rather have FIVE MINUTES of happiness, than a lifetime of misery and regret"...
♥ THANK YOU for YOUR SUPPORT ♥
Sunday, November 6, 2011
" A Military Man's Promise"...
... "I cannot promise you every night of my life. I cannot promise to be beside you for every difficult moment, every trial, and every hardship. In truth, I can promise you that I will not be with you for most. I will leave you at inconvenient times. Any special date to us may be tainted with the anniversary of the death of one of my friends. I will ask you to take over whatever life we have built together for months and years at a time, and will then crash back into that life that you have used your sweat, your tears and your heartache to keep together, and try to take it back as I knew it before. I will shut you out at times because it will be the best way for me to hold it together at that moment. I will lie to you. I will tell you I don't know things when I do. I will not always tell you where I am going, when I will be back, or who I am with. I may not call you for weeks and months and you will not be able to call me. You will ask questions that I won't answer. You will know answers to questions that you will hope you never need. I will share things with my brothers that you will never understand. They will know things about me that you never will. They will be a support to me in some things that you cannot be...
I will miss birthdays. I will miss anniversaries. I may need time to process things that seem natural to everyone else. It will seem that someone - or something - will always take precedence over you. You may lose me long before you ever thought possible. I will uproot you and ask you to re-establish our family anywhere in the world, in any season, at any time - over and over again. Sand and mud will be tracked through your halls from the boots I am too tired to take off. I will leave you when you beg me not to. I will stand at attention while you cry beside me. I will not turn my head and I will walk away. I will knowingly break your heart. And I will do it again - and again. I cannot promise you all of me. I cannot promise you much of anything. But if you will have me, I can promise that as I march away from you, it is not without sharing your heartache. I promise you that every time I break your heart I will be breaking mine. Every time that I cannot answer you I will be protecting you. Whenever you want to call and you have no number to dial, I will be wanting to do the same. I will protect everything that we have created together with every fiber of my being while you do the same back at home. I will honor you in everything - every moment that we are apart and every moment that I am with you. I will fight harder and push further knowing that I do so for you. And I will carry you with me in everything, until my sandy boots once again sit just inside our door. "
Shared on FACEBOOK by one of our Military Spouse Support Groups, written by :http://toloveasoldier.blogspot.com/2012/01/military-mans-promise_26.html
I will miss birthdays. I will miss anniversaries. I may need time to process things that seem natural to everyone else. It will seem that someone - or something - will always take precedence over you. You may lose me long before you ever thought possible. I will uproot you and ask you to re-establish our family anywhere in the world, in any season, at any time - over and over again. Sand and mud will be tracked through your halls from the boots I am too tired to take off. I will leave you when you beg me not to. I will stand at attention while you cry beside me. I will not turn my head and I will walk away. I will knowingly break your heart. And I will do it again - and again. I cannot promise you all of me. I cannot promise you much of anything. But if you will have me, I can promise that as I march away from you, it is not without sharing your heartache. I promise you that every time I break your heart I will be breaking mine. Every time that I cannot answer you I will be protecting you. Whenever you want to call and you have no number to dial, I will be wanting to do the same. I will protect everything that we have created together with every fiber of my being while you do the same back at home. I will honor you in everything - every moment that we are apart and every moment that I am with you. I will fight harder and push further knowing that I do so for you. And I will carry you with me in everything, until my sandy boots once again sit just inside our door. "
Shared on FACEBOOK by one of our Military Spouse Support Groups, written by :http://toloveasoldier.blogspot.com/2012/01/military-mans-promise_26.html
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
OPSEC by: Dr. Suess....
OPSEC By Dr. Suess
I am Sam. Sam I am. Do you like OPSEC and ham? I do not get it, Sam I am. I do not get OPSEC and ham. We must use it here and there. We must use it everywhere. You CAN share it in a car. But you CANNOT in a bar. You CANNOT share it in a text. You CANNOT share it at the NEX. You CAN say it in your house. But should NOT tell a random spouse. You CAN... say it in the shower. But do NOT go sharing at happy hour. DON'T make the Ombudsman sweat. DON'T post it on the internet. You CANNOT share it in a tweet. That would not be very sweet. Beware of Facebook and My Space too. It's tempting to let your feelings through. You Cannot tell it to a friend. NOT even at the very end. It is a privilege to know a date. DON'T ...tell ANYONE or they may be late! Oh, I get it, Sam I am. Now I get OPSEC and ham! I will not tell anyone. I will keep hushed until they're done! I will not tell him or her. I will not tell my dog with fur. I will not tell my child's teacher. I will not tell any creature. Thank you, THANK YOU, Sam I am. Thank you for clearing up OPSEC and Ham!!! :)
I am Sam. Sam I am. Do you like OPSEC and ham? I do not get it, Sam I am. I do not get OPSEC and ham. We must use it here and there. We must use it everywhere. You CAN share it in a car. But you CANNOT in a bar. You CANNOT share it in a text. You CANNOT share it at the NEX. You CAN say it in your house. But should NOT tell a random spouse. You CAN... say it in the shower. But do NOT go sharing at happy hour. DON'T make the Ombudsman sweat. DON'T post it on the internet. You CANNOT share it in a tweet. That would not be very sweet. Beware of Facebook and My Space too. It's tempting to let your feelings through. You Cannot tell it to a friend. NOT even at the very end. It is a privilege to know a date. DON'T ...tell ANYONE or they may be late! Oh, I get it, Sam I am. Now I get OPSEC and ham! I will not tell anyone. I will keep hushed until they're done! I will not tell him or her. I will not tell my dog with fur. I will not tell my child's teacher. I will not tell any creature. Thank you, THANK YOU, Sam I am. Thank you for clearing up OPSEC and Ham!!! :)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
For anyone in a Marriage or Relationship...must read, had to share...
This was shared with me via Facebook, the story is amazing and beautiful...hope you have a kleenex...

MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
R&R Our Way....(the first one)
I cannot believe how quickly R&R came and went. It was absolutely amazing. We spent time with his dad, my boys, his two boys (my labor free sons), friends that he had not seen from months to years, I made new friends, and more family of his that was in town. We trained dogs, had the lawn meticulously manicured to perfection, fixed my blazer, and had an amazing experience together. We laughed, we cried, we dealt with the normal "stupids" that are on-going in our lives, we grew together within our marriage, and friendship. I cannot explain it all, but it was amazing, special, and I am so blessed and lucky to have such an amazing husband to share my life with.
Now, I begin the count down until our next R&R together, sending care packages, taking care of our home, learning to deal and work with my Fibromyalgia that I was recently diagnosed with, going to the gym, getting to see my two other sons more, taking care of our fur babies, dog training, work, along with getting myself and my Autistic son registered for college. I have the best support from my SSG. I have never felt so loved, nor supported within a relationship until meeting him. If I bust tail and get the classes knocked out, I can graduate by the time he returns stateside, and be ready for our next adventurous move wherever the Army takes us. Everyday is an adventure, everyday is a lesson, I appreciate and love everyday I have him and our boys within my life. I am so blessed.
Now, I begin the count down until our next R&R together, sending care packages, taking care of our home, learning to deal and work with my Fibromyalgia that I was recently diagnosed with, going to the gym, getting to see my two other sons more, taking care of our fur babies, dog training, work, along with getting myself and my Autistic son registered for college. I have the best support from my SSG. I have never felt so loved, nor supported within a relationship until meeting him. If I bust tail and get the classes knocked out, I can graduate by the time he returns stateside, and be ready for our next adventurous move wherever the Army takes us. Everyday is an adventure, everyday is a lesson, I appreciate and love everyday I have him and our boys within my life. I am so blessed.
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| Our Marriage Ducks he brought home...I LOVE THEM! |
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| Walking on the beach with the love of your life is amazing...I love you SSG! |
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| What can I say? We are an awesome couple! |
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| Me & Cynthia at Jr's Birthday Party...I LOVE my new bestie!!! |
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| My beautiful LABOR FREE boys!!! |
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| I love hearing him play and serenade me =) |
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| Enjoying R&R with friends and GREAT BEER! |
Sunday, August 14, 2011
The Five Stages of Being a Military Spouse
I love when people share things like this that can make you laugh in my Military Spouse Support Groups...this is just too funny, and ACTUALLY somewhat true. I have been lucky though...we have had it really good.
The FIVE Stages of Being a Military Spouse
1. Denial- Well yeah, he’s in the Army but… it won’t be so bad! We will live off post and we’ll have our weekends…. It won’t be that different from him having a regular job. I can keep my job and the Army doesn’t have to be THE focus of our lives.
2. Anger – WTF? Still no BAH? Let me talk to your supervisor. What do you mean you can only talk to my husband? The waiting list for housing is HOW long? Great now another NSF because he had to work another 16 hour day and couldn’t get to the bank. We have to move where? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I don’t want to live THERE! in a WEEK? Man this Army stuff BLOWS.
3. Bargaining – Ok please just let him deploy AFTER Christmas/our child’s birthday/our anniversary ok? Let him be here for Christmas/our child’s birthday/our annivesary? I promise I’ll volunteer for FRG and won’t complain anymore about the million ways that the Army screws my family every single day. Just let him be here for Christmas/ our child’s birthday/our anniversary!
4. Depression – Doesn’t everyone keep a bottle of Vodka or Prozac in one hand and a cell phone in the other, even when showering/running errands/sleeping while he’s deployed?
5. Acceptance – Using "hooah" in any part of conversation. Buying a wall hanging/plaque/pillow that says "Home is where the Army sends you". Referring to everyone as "Sir" or "Ma’am", even the clerk at the bank, check out girl at the store, and your hairdresser. Saying "when" he deploys again, not "if". Going into a public place and automatically standing in line patiently. Noticing your purse feels heavy and finding that you have started carrying around everything you need for dealing with the Army bureaucracy: military ID, husband’s paperwork, orders, POA, games, books, a snack, water, a cell phone, and a mini bottle of liquor. or 20.
The FIVE Stages of Being a Military Spouse
1. Denial- Well yeah, he’s in the Army but… it won’t be so bad! We will live off post and we’ll have our weekends…. It won’t be that different from him having a regular job. I can keep my job and the Army doesn’t have to be THE focus of our lives.
2. Anger – WTF? Still no BAH? Let me talk to your supervisor. What do you mean you can only talk to my husband? The waiting list for housing is HOW long? Great now another NSF because he had to work another 16 hour day and couldn’t get to the bank. We have to move where? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I don’t want to live THERE! in a WEEK? Man this Army stuff BLOWS.
3. Bargaining – Ok please just let him deploy AFTER Christmas/our child’s birthday/our anniversary ok? Let him be here for Christmas/our child’s birthday/our annivesary? I promise I’ll volunteer for FRG and won’t complain anymore about the million ways that the Army screws my family every single day. Just let him be here for Christmas/ our child’s birthday/our anniversary!
4. Depression – Doesn’t everyone keep a bottle of Vodka or Prozac in one hand and a cell phone in the other, even when showering/running errands/sleeping while he’s deployed?
5. Acceptance – Using "hooah" in any part of conversation. Buying a wall hanging/plaque/pillow that says "Home is where the Army sends you". Referring to everyone as "Sir" or "Ma’am", even the clerk at the bank, check out girl at the store, and your hairdresser. Saying "when" he deploys again, not "if". Going into a public place and automatically standing in line patiently. Noticing your purse feels heavy and finding that you have started carrying around everything you need for dealing with the Army bureaucracy: military ID, husband’s paperwork, orders, POA, games, books, a snack, water, a cell phone, and a mini bottle of liquor. or 20.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
The Flaw In Women...
Women have strengths that amaze men.....
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
…..IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
…..IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Old School Recipe...
My mom sent me this in an email. From what I was told by my mom and my Granny, a wash board was something that my Granny did use as a young married woman.
"Warshing Clothes Recipe" -- imagine having a recipe for this.
Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave a new bride the following recipe:
This is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook - spelling errors and all....ENJOY!!
WARSHING CLOTHES
Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water.
Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert.
Shave one whole cake of lie soap in boilin water.
Sort things, make 3 piles
1 pile white,
1 pile colored,
1 pile work britches and rags.
To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.
Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench (rinse) and starch.
Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.
Hang old rags on fence.
Spread tea towels on grass.
Pore wrench water in flower bed.
Scrub porch with hot soapy water.
Turn tubs upside down.
Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs.
Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.
Paste this over your washer and dryer
Next time when you think things are bleak, read it again, and kiss that washing machine and dryer.
"Warshing Clothes Recipe" -- imagine having a recipe for this.
Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave a new bride the following recipe:
This is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook - spelling errors and all....ENJOY!!
WARSHING CLOTHES
Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water.
Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert.
Shave one whole cake of lie soap in boilin water.
Sort things, make 3 piles
1 pile white,
1 pile colored,
1 pile work britches and rags.
To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.
Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench (rinse) and starch.
Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.
Hang old rags on fence.
Spread tea towels on grass.
Pore wrench water in flower bed.
Scrub porch with hot soapy water.
Turn tubs upside down.
Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs.
Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.
Paste this over your washer and dryer
Next time when you think things are bleak, read it again, and kiss that washing machine and dryer.
Labels:
Family
Fireworks & Pets
Please remember that as much as you and the kids love fireworks, doggies and some kitties are not big fans! Please do not take your dogs to go see the fireworks! This is very scary for them! Shelters are overrun with "runaways" trying to get away from the big bad booms this holiday weekend, don't let your doggie or kitty be one of them!
Labels:
Cats,
Dogs,
Firework Precautions,
Firework Safety,
Fireworks,
Pet Awareness,
Pet Safety
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Happy 4th of July ~
As we approach Independence Day, remember. The American flag does not fly because the wind moves past it. The American flag flies from the last breath of each military member who has died protecting it. American soldiers don't fight because they hate what's in front of them, they fight because they love what's behind them.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
OPSEC Rules...please read
As a Military Wife, I have learned through my husband and through other wives about OPSEC, BUT there are still some that either do not care, do not want to care, or are just...you know, I do not know how to explain them...lol.
SO...if you don't know about OPSEC, here's a little information to help...if you just DON'T CARE...I have nothing more to say, except...get off my page please, and thank you. OPSEC is for the safety of ALL of our SOLDIERS, so please understand how important these rules are. Thank you to the spouses who helped and taught me as well in regards to learning more.
OPSEC Rules for blogs, forums and chat
Operations Security can’t be summed up in a brief list of rules and regulations and be expected to cover every possible situation. However, many forum, blogs and chat rooms need to set certain standards and guidelines in order to promote good OPSEC practices. These guidelines are often referred to as “OPSEC Rules”, and must be acknowledged before an account is created.
This article will provide a basic set of OPSEC rules for free, unrestricted use on any site or forum. Please note that this is not an inclusive list, and should be modified to fit the requirements on the medium.
OPSEC Rules:
1-Do not post exact deployment dates or redeployment dates
2-Do not reveal camp locations, including nearby cities. After the deployment is officially announced by Military officials, you may discuss locations that have been released, normally on the Country level.
3-Do not discuss convoy routes (“we travelled through Takrit on our way to X”)
4-Detailed information on the mission, capabilities or morale of a unit
5-Specific names or actual nicknames
6-Personnel transactions that occur in large numbers (Example: pay information, powers of attorney, wills, etc)
7-Details concerning security procedures, response times, tactics
8-Don’t discuss equipment or lack thereof, to include training equipment
9-Don’t speculate about future operations
10-If posting pictures, don’t post anything that could be misconstrued or used for propaganda purposes. A good rule of thumb is to look at your picture without your caption or explanation and consider if it could be re-captioned to reflect poorly on coalition forces. For example, your image might show your Soldier rescuing a child from a blast site, but could be re-captioned to insinuate that the child being captured or harmed. (it’s happened!)
11- Avoid the use of count-up or count-down tickers for the same reason as rule #1
12-Be very careful if posting pictures of your loved one
.
13-Avoid images that show significant landmarks near their base of operations, and black out last names and unit affiliations
14-Do not, ever, post information about casualties (coalition or enemy) before the official release of the information.
15-Do not pass on rumors (“I heard they’re coming home early”, etc)
If you have any questions, contact your (or your sponsor’s) unit OPSEC manager.
These OSPEC rules aren’t meant to limit your free speech or restrict your liberties- that’s exactly what our Men and Women fight to protect. However, they are designed to help ensure the safety and security of the Service Members in your life.
Remember, no matter your affiliation, status, rank or age- you have a part in the security of your Soldier!!!
**THIS INFORMATION WAS GATHERED AND RE-POSTED FROM http://www.opsecprofessionals.org/articles/OPSEC_Rules.html
SO...if you don't know about OPSEC, here's a little information to help...if you just DON'T CARE...I have nothing more to say, except...get off my page please, and thank you. OPSEC is for the safety of ALL of our SOLDIERS, so please understand how important these rules are. Thank you to the spouses who helped and taught me as well in regards to learning more.
OPSEC Rules for blogs, forums and chat
Operations Security can’t be summed up in a brief list of rules and regulations and be expected to cover every possible situation. However, many forum, blogs and chat rooms need to set certain standards and guidelines in order to promote good OPSEC practices. These guidelines are often referred to as “OPSEC Rules”, and must be acknowledged before an account is created.
This article will provide a basic set of OPSEC rules for free, unrestricted use on any site or forum. Please note that this is not an inclusive list, and should be modified to fit the requirements on the medium.
OPSEC Rules:
1-Do not post exact deployment dates or redeployment dates
2-Do not reveal camp locations, including nearby cities. After the deployment is officially announced by Military officials, you may discuss locations that have been released, normally on the Country level.
3-Do not discuss convoy routes (“we travelled through Takrit on our way to X”)
4-Detailed information on the mission, capabilities or morale of a unit
5-Specific names or actual nicknames
6-Personnel transactions that occur in large numbers (Example: pay information, powers of attorney, wills, etc)
7-Details concerning security procedures, response times, tactics
8-Don’t discuss equipment or lack thereof, to include training equipment
9-Don’t speculate about future operations
10-If posting pictures, don’t post anything that could be misconstrued or used for propaganda purposes. A good rule of thumb is to look at your picture without your caption or explanation and consider if it could be re-captioned to reflect poorly on coalition forces. For example, your image might show your Soldier rescuing a child from a blast site, but could be re-captioned to insinuate that the child being captured or harmed. (it’s happened!)
11- Avoid the use of count-up or count-down tickers for the same reason as rule #1
12-Be very careful if posting pictures of your loved one
.
13-Avoid images that show significant landmarks near their base of operations, and black out last names and unit affiliations
14-Do not, ever, post information about casualties (coalition or enemy) before the official release of the information.
15-Do not pass on rumors (“I heard they’re coming home early”, etc)
If you have any questions, contact your (or your sponsor’s) unit OPSEC manager.
These OSPEC rules aren’t meant to limit your free speech or restrict your liberties- that’s exactly what our Men and Women fight to protect. However, they are designed to help ensure the safety and security of the Service Members in your life.
Remember, no matter your affiliation, status, rank or age- you have a part in the security of your Soldier!!!
**THIS INFORMATION WAS GATHERED AND RE-POSTED FROM http://www.opsecprofessionals.org/articles/OPSEC_Rules.html
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